Heaven
by Ferichan
Summary: Oscar's thoughts and feelings during her final moments during the Storming of the Bastille. Based on ep. 40. One-shot. OscarxAndre.


Got inspired for a little One-shot. :) Based on the ending of Episode 40th. Enjoy!

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**Heaven**

_by: Feri-san_

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_Sharp, excruciating pain. _

"Come on lend me a hand in here!"

_Alain, please don't yell. Please… it hurts. Everything hurts._

_I turn my head slowly. I can blearily make out the people standing above me. They're my men, Company B… or I think they are; everything is becoming so blurry. My face feels hot and cold at the same time. There's something warm on my face, sliding down my forehead. I can feel it against my frigid skin, along with the cold sweat breaking out. _

_I can't move. The pain is too unbearable. It's traveling through my body in unrelenting waves. I can hear the echo of the barrage of bullets still thundering in my ears. I can feel the sharp, hot pain in each and every wound where a bullet penetrated me, like a hot rod being pressed in assorted parts of my body. _

_It hurts. It hurts so much. André… I can't take it… it hurts a lot… Please help me! Hold me… hold me close, make it go away…_

_I feel them hauling me up and moving me. More waves of pain. I want to scream… but nothing comes out of my mouth. I'm not even sure if I managed to open it. I can only feel my head fall backwards. I'm weakening… I can feel the pressure of the many hands moving me somewhere else. Someone behind me grabs my head and lays it against their chest, and I can vaguely hear the rapid beating of their heart. I try to feel my own, reverberating in my ears… _

_But it's fading… it's becoming quieter, slower… I can feel the warmth fading steadily too, replaced by a sheer cold. I don't want them to move me anymore, I need to rest, the pain is coming back in agonizing full force, I want to lie down… Please let me go…_

_My voice manages to come out, merely a whisper. I cannot manage any louder. My energy is leaving me, I can't even open my eyes, but I manage to tell them to put me down. I really need to rest, I can't stand it. I can't stand this pain, this pressure… I just want to sleep… _

_I hear voices, but they are muffled, I cannot make out their words, but a few seconds later I feel them lowering me down. Someone is holding my head, carefully, gently, and later I feel something soft under my head and body. I let out a feeble sigh as I feel all my weight lie on the soft surface. Someone grabs my hand, and I feel a small pressure on my wrist. More voices, but it's like I'm submerged in water, their voices too far away… _

_I no longer feel my wounds… I don't feel cold, or hot… I just don't feel anything. My body has gone numb, shut down. The warmth of my own blood is gone. I can faintly hear my heartbeat in my ears, but it's barely there…_

_I feel someone press something against my forehead and the warm trickling feeling is gone. I open my eyes weakly, but it's like I'm going blind… everything is hazy and my vision is darker than usual; there's people all over me, watching me. There's silence… only silence… _

_Where is the gunfire? _

_Why aren't they shooting…? Where are our cannons? Why have they stopped? Alain, don't stop… don't stop shooting, you idiot… the Bastille… it's almost overtaken… don't stop… don't let them win… Alain…._

_I cannot hear my voice, but I feel my mouth moving weakly. My thoughts must have made it out of my mouth, for I can hear Alain's voice in the distance, yelling at the rest of Company B, and suddenly some of the people hovering over me are gone…_

_And I suddenly feel alone… There are shadows around me still, but I feel alone… and I cannot feel my body anymore. I don't know if I'm awake or asleep, I can't tell… I feel like crying. I'm overtaken by a sudden fear… fear of being alone, lost, a fear of not… seeing you…_

_I want to see you… André, I want to see you, why are you not here with me? Why did you leave me behind? Why André? I need you… I need you… I can't do this alone… Oh God, I cannot do this… André please grab my hand… so that I won't be afraid… why are you not here? _

_I love you… I love you so much… I wish… I wish I could've said it more… and I would've said it more… but you left, didn't you, André? You left me too soon; you left me all alone, and I'm still alone…I'm so sorry André; please forgive me… please... _

_Deep sorrow fills me but I'm too tired to cry._

_I can feel my life seeping away from me… I don't know how much time has passed… but I feel fatigued… I want to rest… I want to just sleep… I don't want to feel pain or loneliness…._

_Are those cannons? I think I hear the cannons again… good job Alain… good job… It was… a pleasure… working with you, Company B… a real pleasure… Thanks for being with me… till the very end… Don't give up… It's an order, Alain… don't give up… Your commander is proud…_

_My vision is fading… darkness creeps over the edges of my vision, traveling further… My world is getting dark… I-_

…_André?_

_André is that you…?_

_He's suddenly over me, watching me with a smile; there are fireflies around him, shining beautifully… I try to speak, but I can't find my voice, but it doesn't matter for he only places a finger on my lips, later moving his hand to gently stroke the hair out of my eyes… Oh André… my sweet André… The light of the sun is suddenly shining bright behind you, and your silhouette falls into shadow, disappearing slowly in the light… _

_I can feel my eye lids closing, too heavy to keep them open… I see you mouth something at me. I can't hear you, but I try to make out your words… _

"_I'll see you later,"_

_Don't leave me… please wait for me, André… Please guide me…_

_The sound of my heart fades… the rumbling cannons fall into silence…and I feel nothing. There's only an undisturbed calm and darkness. My body feels light, but I can't tell if I'm lying down or standing… I don't feel hot or cold, I don't feel tired…_

_Suddenly, I can hear crickets chirping in the darkness. I can also hear the grass swaying in the wind; I can feel the warmth of summer and the soft pasture beneath me…._

_I open my eyes._

_There's suddenly light, and I'm staring up at the orange and red hue of the sky of dawn. Purple and pink clouds float calmly by, and I can feel a pleasant, warm breeze against my face. I pull myself into a sitting position, blinking. I'm in a vast meadow. There are trees and pines in the distance surrounding the meadow and I can make out a small, quaint house in the middle of the field a good ways away from me. The sun is setting in the horizon: a bright, yellow orb surrounded by the shadows of birds heading south. _

_Am I dreaming? Everything has an endearing glow to it, everything is so incredibly pleasant, and I feel myself filled with an overwhelming peace. I stand up and close my eyes, breathing in the scent of the greenery and flowers around me, feeling my golden hair sway across my face with the wind. It feels absolutely heavenly. _

_I suddenly sense something behind me and I spin around just in time to see a bright red apple flying at me, instinctively bringing my hands up and catching it._

"_Good catch,"_

_I look up from the apple at the sound of the voice, my blue eyes widening. _

_Standing a few feet away from me, green eyes glowing with the warmest love and dark hair swaying in the wind…_

_I can feel tears picking at the corners of my eyes… and I let them fall. I let them fall freely as I drop the apple and run at him, a wide smile breaking out in my face as he opens his arms wide to receive me. I lunge at him, my arms instantly snaking around him as I bury my face in the nape of his neck. _

_His warmth envelops me as soon as I touch him, his sweet scent overwhelming me… the feel of his strong arms around me, holding me close, and the feel of his lips as he whispers sweet nothings in my ear. Oh God, how I longed for this, how I ached for this… _

"_I missed you," I tell him between sobs, "I missed you so much!"_

"_Oh Oscar," He says breathlessly as he holds me, "I love you… You have no idea how bad I longed for you."_

_I cannot believe I'm holding him, I can't believe he's here with me. I hold him close, planting soft kisses on his neck, afraid he'll fade away. "Why did you leave me?"_

"_I never left you," he whispers gently as he kisses the nape of my neck, the sound of his voice sounding like the most beautiful music to my ears. "You just couldn't see me… but I was always beside you."_

"_I love you, André," I say, nuzzling against him, "I love you… Please stay with me."_

"_I will," he says as he places a hand under my chin to gently raise my face, giving me the tenderest kiss, "I'll never leave you…" _

_I cup his face, kissing him this time and infusing it with all my love. As our lips lock in a gentle, loving kiss, I surround his neck with my arms, desperate to let him know how much he meant to me, how much I missed him, and how sorry I was. I run my hands through his raven hair as he plays with mine, just reveling in the feel of each other… _

_His lips suddenly leave me, and he gives a loud whistle. I blink for a moment, and before I know it I hear the sound of hooves trotting in the distance. I turn around and see my white horse galloping toward us, its silver mane glinting in the soft glow of the sun. He rears into a stop in front of us and André quickly grabs the reins, expertly climbing atop the horse in one swift movement. He extends his hand at me with a sweet smile, my white steed whinnying expectantly. _

_I lay my hand on his and André pulls me up over the saddle in front of him, one hand on the reins and the other surrounding my waist. He clicks his heel against the horse's side and it springs into a lively gallop, taking us through the radiant meadow. I can feel him put his face beside mine, nuzzling me and landing soft kisses on my cheek as our hair sways with the wind. I turn my face at him, looking at him adoringly before I catch his lips in a kiss, which he responds lovingly. _

_I rest my head against his chest, feeling him lay his head on mine, and we remain this way for a good while, in a gallop that seems endless, infinite, with the constant warmth of the sun filling us, its bright light illuminating us, and we remain like this in what feels like forever… I don't want this dream to end, but I have a feeling it won't and an overwhelming bliss fills me. Bliss unlike anything on earth, a bliss that won't leave, forever living in a perpetual state of happiness like I had never known…_

_Certainly…_

_This is Heaven…_

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_Hope you liked it, let me know what you think :3_


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